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LOUD HOWLS THE ETERNAL WOLF!

by Careful Gaze

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1.
I am sorry for the times that I go somewhere else While still sitting in the room, with my body like a shell I am sorry for the times in which I am too much Unsure if that’s any better than when I am not enough I think it started when I first played Funeral, middle seat - late nineties van Sitting there with the music paused, but still with both speakers in Too weak to be in conversation, much too scared to be alone Hoping I'd see the shape of a safe space friend in the street when I got home Tell me - what I am doing, please I'll try to be better than I have been I spent so much time staying afloat I think I forgot how to be a friend I am a rope that gets more tangled as I toss and turn, asleep There is glass layered inside, cutting those who untie me And if it happens every night, well then those ends are going to fray You can fuse the ends of me, or set the whole damn thing ablaze Someone tell me - what I am doing, please I'll try to be better than I have been I spent so much time staying afloat I think I forgot how to be a friend Tell me - what am I doing, please How do I act when we meet again Maybe we’ll sit at a dying fire Maybe we’ll talk about the end I am not a martyr, I’ve tried so hard to be good To be comforting to you, to be the way they say I should I am becoming afraid that I will be forgettable But I am still more afraid to be remembered as "not good" I am sorry Tell me - what I am doing, please I'll try to be better than I have been I spent so much time staying afloat I think I forgot how to be your friend Tell me - what am I doing, please How do I act when we meet again Maybe we’ll sit at a dying fire Maybe we’ll talk about the end
2.
Dear mother who art in heaven Could you give father a message We are sick and need deliverance From this white suburban “heaven” We have prayed to end oppression Since before things started burning But we never got an answer Now the tide is fucking turning Why does your soul war have to be a class war? Why does your soul war have to be a race war? We became tired Sitting below your expectations At the bottom of the world Somewhere within your “hurt” In the eyes of some of the closest We partake in a pointless protest It is a plea to hit the reset Our “haven” has become facist Why does your soul war have to be a class war? Why does your soul war have to be a race war? Call out your sin, begin again, or burn down Spit out the shit, you came here with, stand up now There’s minority blood on the hands of our leaders and they won’t admit it There’s a system of white elitism in place, time to fucking rescind it You can’t hide in your comfort forever pretending there is no movement Get ready for the flood - are you rising to the top or going down in the current? Fuck your leader, fuck your tear gas, fuck your armchair judgment Goddamn *growl intensifies*
3.
What are these words, we speak so often Tired little pleas beneath our breath Some aimed at gods, some aimed at devils All powered by a quaking chest We raise our voice and speak in anger Sometimes righteous, though sometimes cruel Some scream for money, some scream for power Some scream just so police don’t shoot They usually do What is this life - but building castles In which we age, in which we die If someone comes to take your empire You go outside and end their life You claim to love with no conditions You speak your hate behind closed doors But before long, that door will open Then all will see what you fight for We have been warned A few things - Be well, sex sells, and fuck twelve. We were all sitting in our cells until the other shoe fell. They dwell in robes like Pharisees, screaming "carry me. don't marry unless you're straight, white, not fucking and delirious." Did we make it to heaven? I don't feel it. Hatred is woven into this crowd but I can't see it. I'm busy watching Jesus with his Black Lives Matter sign teaching children. I wonder if he knew the future. And if he did was he sad? If I could've seen the future I would've cut some ties that I had a little sooner. I would've been a better lover. I would've loved a little louder. I am at a loss for answers, think we might be unimportant - we will live on sonic roads til Final Breath, and Final Morning. Shifting gears and speeding. Pivoting and singing, not knowing or caring that we are bleeding. Shifting gears and speeding. Pivoting and singing, not knowing or caring that I am bleeding Please keep my name away from your lips I’ll keep your name out of my home You’ve drawn your lines, and made your statements All that you reap, will be your own A crop of bones
4.
JPTR 03:34
Grand journey, unending horizon Prepare a place for yourself, but invite someone in Bless a friend, bless an enemy Bless everyone you lay eyes on It's your big day Everyone will talk about you And the new wave Of feeling displaced and disappointed It’s the big day Everyone will talk about it Walking heavy with no purpose Tired faces all distorted Found a calling, found a hidden power Make a pact and hope to some god that it doesn't go sour It’s a gravel road at the midnight hour It’s Springsteen's caravan on a never ending tour It's your big day Everyone will talk about you And the new wave Of feeling displaced and disappointed It’s the big day Everyone will talk about it Walking heavy with no purpose Stories of the way wish you were Used to see what they saw too Used to feel a whole lot number Spit blanket statements to get through Begging someone to crawl under It's your big day Everyone will talk about you And the new wave Of feeling displaced and disappointed It’s the big day Everyone will talk about it Walking heavy with no purpose Still content with no one next to you It's your big day It's the big day Did you become one with the thunder?
5.
Forest Art 03:37
There is something evil in these woods Waiting for us to falter When our breath becomes ragged and our throats are lined with fire It will speak to us from every direction Anger - at the edge of the clearing Where sight ends and scents begin It calls me ever- inward Converting those like me, into Exhibit A for purging the all the earth CHORUS Sadness - as I hear my loved ones calling Will they see my footsteps in the Spring I hope they love the real me, Not the images they're fed from That blue light that translates my memory CHORUS It says “You will become my art You will paint the forest floor You don’t deserve the earth It don’t love you anymore” In another decade, they will find it Humans turned into bloody mural WIth a single message beneath these decomposing leaves “You all created me.” There is something evil in these woods Waiting for us to falter, (here it goes) When our breath becomes ragged and our throats are lined with fire It will say "bow down and pray your fucking prayers" There is something evil in these woods Waiting for us to falter, (here it goes) When our breath becomes ragged and our throats are lined with fire With our final breath we will see the hidden truth, we are the evil in these woods
6.
WORLDEATER 05:30
Swear in Cut down what you cannot comprehend That is what our predecessors said There is something coming for revenge Begin Cry as much as you can stand to cry We have earned this through association Innocent or not, we’re going to die She was excommunicated Forbidden to return to our world She was never one to follow instruction She gained strength before she returned And now she’s going to let it burn She’s going to let it burn Cities part as she descends Her lips meet mine as it begins

about

Sound! sound! my loud war-trumpets, and alarm my Thirteen Angels!
Loud howls the Eternal Wolf! the Eternal Lion lashes his tail!’

Thus wept the Angel voice, and as he wept the terrible blasts
Of trumpets blew a loud alarm across the Atlantic deep.
No trumpets answer; no reply of clarions or of fifes:
Silent the Colonies remain and refuse the loud alarm.


- William Blake, 1793

credits

released December 18, 2020

Written and performed by Careful Gaze
Engineered, mixed and mastered by Sam Howell of Sunken City Studios
Guest vocals on Sunday Special by Arrold Walton of ROT (weallrot.bandcamp.com)
Artwork by Dillon Bauman
Modeling by Nichole and EJ

Careful Gaze is -
Gabe Reasoner - Vocals, Bass, Drums
Preston West - Guitar
Aslan Denbow - Guitar, Bass

Careful Gaze uses Fender, Gibson, ESP, Kemper, Darkglass, Ampeg

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Careful Gaze Minneapolis, Minnesota

MINNEAPOLIS BASED HEAVY, SAD, AND PRETTY

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